Pentagon spokesman gets asked about Polish strippers and geopolitics

Bravo Zulu to Pentagon spokesman John Kirby, a retired admiral, who calmly and skillfully responded to the most bizarre issue posed to a defense formal in latest memory:

“An Army big was reportedly drugged and bitten by strippers in Poland. Will that have an affect on the U.S. military’s footprint in that nation?” requested this author, satisfying his responsibilities as your intrepid and uncompromising senior Pentagon reporter.

John Vandiver of Stars and Stripes very first documented that the government officer for the 101st Beat Aviation Brigade’s “No Mercy” battalion experienced allegedly disappeared following he and other soldiers frequented an off-restrictions strip club in Poland. Maj. Matthew Conner, an Apache pilot, was finally located and claimed he experienced been drugged and then held captive by strippers, who bit his nipples to retain him awake as they gave him lap dances and racked up expenses on his credit rating card.

Conner came away with the incident with receipts displaying he had been charged 50,000, but it was unclear if that volume was in dollars in Polish zloty. Either way it is unlikely he will be in a position to post those bills for reimbursement applying the Protection Vacation Technique.

During Monday’s Pentagon press briefing, Process & Intent queried Kirby about the episode. Perhaps a further reporter would have phrased the dilemma in a different way in order to downplay the a lot more unwholesome areas of the tale. But Activity & Purpose’s senior Pentagon reporter is a effectively-known bastard, and he’s just the style of man or woman to enjoy up the seediness of it all.

Kirby in the beginning appeared taken aback when questioned if the fact that Connor experienced allegedly been drugged and bitten by Polish strippers would alter the U.S. military’s footprint in the state. The retired admiral’s encounter betrayed his feelings of disbelief.

To Kirby’s credit history, he rapidly regained his composure and stifled a snicker as replied: “Jeff, I really do not know just about anything about that tale. I’ll have a seem at it. I’m not heading to choose that concern.”

Regardless of currently being stunned by the Endeavor & Objective reporter’s full absence of any form of a filter, Kirby was ready to continue with his response: “But, Jeff: No, no, no – Jeff, enable me just condition clearly that we have a strong military services romance with Poland and we hope to see that proceed to improve and to make improvements to. But I really don’t know something about this distinct item.”

Thank you, Adm. Kirby, for your company.

Showcased graphic: A screenshot from C-SPAN coverage of the Pentagon briefing in which John Kirby was requested about Polish strippers reportedly biting an Army officer.